Hitchswitch-Blog

Tag: Name Change

  • Things You Never Thought to Take Care of After the Big Day

    Things You Never Thought to Take Care of After the Big Day

    After you’re married you might think that your to-do list is finally finished, right? No more planning meetings or last-minute fittings that clutter up your schedule. Well, sorry to break it to you, but you’re not off the hook just yet. In fact, there are a lot of time-sensitive tasks you should plan on taking care of pretty soon after the big day. So snap out of your marital bliss fog and take care of these tasks so you can get back to staring at your new bling and doodling your new last name.

    Change your last name

    Okay so this isn’t exactly unexpected, but there’s a lot more that goes into it than you’d think. Hitchswitch will give you a huge jump on the legal paperwork, but once that’s taken care of there’s still more to do. Don’t forget to tell your employer and have the IT guy update any account usernames or emails. You’ll need to update your personal social media handles. Here’s a handy tip: reserve your new email address ASAP once you’re engaged, especially if you want a professional sounding one. That way, once you’re married you won’t have to worry about being stuck with mrswifey82429@gmail.com as your contact info.

    Have a money talk

    This one isn’t fun, but it’s so important to have this conversation. Sit down with your new hubs and treat the meeting like a business conversation. What assets and debts are you each bringing into the marriage? Are you going to combine accounts? Then talk about your bigger money goals such as paying off student loans, starting a family, buying a house, or travelling. Whatever it is, take a look at what obstacles are in your way and make a plan to tackle them together. Then go do something fun because money talks can really suck the life out of you.

    Review your wedding vendors

    If your wedding vendors made all of your dreams come true, make sure you show them some love with a glowing review. In the unfortunate case that something didn’t go as planned, a thoughtful review can help another bride avoid the same problem. Word of mouth is huge in the wedding industry so taking the time to write reviews can be a big help for their business. Plus, doesn’t your wedding planner deserve it after dealing with your Bridezilla moments?

     

    Take down your registry and wedding website

    Once you’ve opened your wonderful gifts, take a look at your wedding registry. Most will offer a discount for purchasing any items you weren’t gifted, so take advantage of that while it’s still good. Then it’s time to say goodbye and delete the registry along with your wedding website if you had one. While it served its purpose, it’s just not what you want popping up in an employer’s Google search ten years down the road. Trust us, it’s time to let it go.

     

    Organize your life

    You were smart and changed your name with HitchSwitch, which made the entire process pain-free, but now you’ve got a stack of important paperwork taking up room on your counter that you cannot afford to misplace. Arm yourself with a filing system and label maker and get to work creating a process for storing everything. In addition to organizing your name change paperwork, this is a good time to sort out important docs from car purchases, taxes, insurance and apartment leases. You’ll feel like you’re really #adulting with your newly organized system. What’s next, making your own doctor’s appointments? Slow down!

  • First Things First: What To Do When You Get Engaged

    First Things First: What To Do When You Get Engaged

    You’re engaged! *Cue confetti* The question has been popped, your dream ring is on your hand and you might be so overwhelmed with emotions you don’t know where to begin.

    First, let it sink in that you’re marrying the love of your life and take a moment to celebrate! If you’re feeling anxious to start planning (but don’t know where to start) you’ve come to the right place. Here’s what your first moves should be after you’ve said yes:

    Dust Off the Phone Book

    We know, it would be so much easier to post a photo on Facebook and call it a day. But, the best way to announce the good news is an old-fashioned phone call. Call up your family and friends and let them in on the celebration. They’ll love hearing it from you and this way you’ll avoid a conversation with your great aunt (who isn’t mad, just disappointed) that she was the last to know.

    Get a Manicure

    Trust us on this one, your hand is going to be the center of attention for the next couple of months. The ring is the first thing people will ask to see when they hear you’re engaged and you don’t want your chipped polish to steal the spotlight. Grab a few of your girlfriends, treat yourselves to manicures, and flash that ring!

    Discuss Budget

    Before you dive headfirst into planning, take a look at what you are willing to spend. Weddings can add up, so decide in advance how much you have to spend and what you are willing to compromise on if you need to make adjustments.

    Gather Inspiration

    Maybe you’ve been planning this in your head for years and already know the direction you want to go. But if you have absolutely no clue, or just want to look at other options, tools like Pinterest are great for a little inspo and checking out ideas you might not have thought of.

    Research Venues

    You can’t book anything until you decide on a venue, and remember in demand locations and dates go fast. Researching venues early on will be helpful for a lot of other planning details and you’ll be able to know how much and what kind of space you have to work with.  

    Download The Knot Wedding Planner App

    The Knot wedding planning app will be your new best friend. Including personalized checklists, budgeting tools, inside scoops on thousands of vendors and tons of wedding inspiration, it’s like having a personal wedding planner in your pocket. The app also helps you create a wedding website, organize your registry and manages your guest list.

    Think About Changing Your Name

    A detail brides always overlook is when and how to change their last name. Don’t get tied up in the stress and paperwork of changing your name at the last minute. At HitchSwitch, we know how crazy planning a wedding can be. So we’ve streamlined the name-change process making it stress and hassle free.

  • 7 Unique Bachelorette Parties

    7 Unique Bachelorette Parties

    There are endless possibilities to make a bachelorette party so much more than just a night out with the girls. This is your opportunity to plan a party that reflects the bride and create memories that you will remember for years to come.

    If you’re planning a bachelorette party for a one-of-a-kind bride, you’ll need a one-of-a-kind idea! Here’s a list of bachelorette party ideas you might not have thought of:

    Set Sail

    Whether you live near the water, or you’re travelling to a tropical destination, casting off with the girlfriends is the perfect getaway. Spending the day on a boat lets the Bride Tribe relax and work on their tans before the big day. Don’t forget the tropical cocktails and flamingo floats to complete the celebration!

    Wellness Weekend

    Planning a wedding can be super stressful on the bride. Swap the drinks and clubs for a weekend of facials, massages and yoga to get the bride wedding-ready. Resorts like Solage Resort, or Canyon Ranch, will get everyone feeling pampered and polished, just in time for the final stretch of wedding chaos.

    Rent-a-House

    Instead of a hotel, rent a house on AirBnB, or HomeAway so all of your girlfriends can stay together and throw an old-fashioned sleepover. Binge watch wedding movies, play drinking games and hire a manicurist for some mani-pedis for the ultimate girls night-in.

    Glamping

    For the outdoorsy bride, Glamping is where luxury meets the great outdoors. Take a weekend escape to a luxe cabin in the mountains, spend the night underneath the stars and toasting marshmallows. Places like Clayoquot Wilderness Resort, or Pampered Wilderness are great for taking in nature’s beauty, hassle (and mosquito bite) free.

    Party with Mickey

    Grab some matching Mickey ears for your whole crew and take a road trip to Disney World! Spend the day taking pictures with your favorite princesses, riding on roller coasters and picnicking in the park. Don’t forget about the firework show at night to end the bachelorette bash with a bang.

    Hit the Slopes

    Does your bride love to ski or snowboard? A trip to a ski resort could be the perfect escape for the Bride Squad. Hit the slopes early before taking a trip to the spa and sipping some Hot Chocolate by the fire later on.

    Volunteer

    If your bride is more interested in giving back then making the day about her, pick the cause that’s most important to her and spend the day volunteering. This can be a really great bonding experience for all of your friends- plus no one said you can’t celebrate with some cocktails when you’re done!

  • Newlyweds Guide to First Time Home Buying

    Newlyweds Guide to First Time Home Buying

    The wedding chaos is over, you’ve binge-watched every episode of House Hunters on record, and now you might be thinking you’re ready to start the search for your newlywed nest.

    Whether you’re ready to buy now or being homeowners is a goal for the future, it’s good to start exploring the process early on. Reading up on home-buying and looking into all of your options will help you down the road and make the process look a lot less intimidating.

    Before you start your shopping, read our guide to guarantee first time home buying success:

    Just Like Saying “I Do”

    Much like the commitment you made to each other, you should only commit to buying a home when you are 100% ready for everything that goes with it. Look at homes you know you can afford, which might mean less than what you get approved for.

    A good ratio to follow is mortgage payments totalling about 28% of your gross income. Buying a house comes with a lot of costs, and you never know what else life can throw at you. Make sure you are looking at homes within a reasonable budget (even if it means sacrificing the his and her walk-in closets).

    Set Clear Priorities

    Before you begin your search, decide what your top priorities are. Is location or space more important? Fixer upper or turnkey? Make a list of your non-negotiables before you begin looking.

    Starting with specific ideas for what is right for you as a couple, will help you make more thought-out decisions and hopefully avoid any buyer’s remorse. If you’ve watched as much HGTV as we have though, you might have already covered this step a long time ago.

    Consider the Long-Term

    What you and your new spouse need in a house right now, might not necessarily be what you need out of a house down the line.

    Take a look at what you want your family to look like and be in the future and search for houses that best fit that lifestyle. It might be worth it to look into now, instead of dealing with the costs and hassle of moving later on.

    School District Matters

    Your mother-in-law is right about this one. Whether or not you are planning on having kids, you should look into the school district of your future home. Living in a community with a good school system will raise property values, meaning your home will do much better in resale.

    Contracts are Meant to be Negotiated

    Buying a home means signing a lot of papers and checking off a lot of boxes. You might think all of these contracts are standard agreements and you just have to sign on the dotted line, but that’s not always the case.

    There are always things you can negotiate. If you want a longer time frame to review your inspection, wish for a warranty or want the repairs thrown in, these can be negotiated during the process. This is a where a good realtor can really help out and save you money.  

    Dig Deeper into Inspection

    If a problem occurs during the inspection, it’s always a good idea to take a closer look into it, before all of the papers are signed.

    If there is a bigger issue there, it’s better to have it taken care of before the house it’s yours. If you find a flaw during the inspection, you can use it to your advantage and negotiate to get it fixed or get a price reduction.

    DIY to Save Money

    Willing to live with a little dust for a while? Taking on some DIY projects might just save you a chunk of money.

    If you have the time and can look beyond paint color, doing small remodelling projects on a home like replacing cabinets or installing wallpaper on your own can help you to save money. DIY projects are also a great way to make your new house feel like a home.

  • What No One Tells You About Changing Your Name

    What No One Tells You About Changing Your Name

    Planning a wedding leads to a mixed bag of emotions. On one hand, you’re filled with excitement, about to marry the love of your life surrounded by your friends and family. On the other hand, you’ve never been so stressed trying to balance finding invitations with cake tastings, dress fittings and a million other details.

    The last thing you want to do is spend hours filling out paperwork and on the phone informing dozens of entities about your name change. However, if you go about this process the old-fashioned way, that’s exactly what you’ll end up doing.

    Here’s what no one tells you about changing your name (and how to avoid this process altogether- *hint hint HitchSwitch):

    You Have Options

    Before you start the process, you need to decide what name you’ll take. Changing your name doesn’t necessarily mean dropping your last name and replacing it with your soon to be husbands. Although that’s pretty common, more brides are choosing alternative methods, that are better suited for their personal or professional needs.

    In most states, men and women can legally change their last name to their new spouse’s last name, hyphenate their two last names, or even create an entirely new name with a combination of both of their last names. #Trendy

    Not Just a One-Stop-Shop

    Just like when you and your friends head to a bottomless mimosa brunch, it’s important to remind yourself that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It can get pretty overwhelming with all the different paperwork and places you have to notify.

    The process itself is time-consuming and requires a lot of patience. You have to prepare to spend a good amount checking off all the boxes before completing your name change.

    You Have to Tell Everyone… We Mean Everyone

    You don’t realize how important your name is until you change it. When you do enter this process, you need to notify the Social Security Administration, the IRS and the DMV for your new paperwork and license. You will also need to inform banks, credit card companies, and utility companies. Any documentation- like your passport- will also need to be updated.

    You’ll need to get new checks, notify the post office, and update your medical records and insurance. If you have legal documents like a will or trust, you’ll want to look into changing them as well. Employers as well as friends and family members, should also be notified. *Insert deep breath here*

    What To Do About Kids…

    If you are not married yet and you’re having a child, the baby will automatically take the mother’s last name unless you as parents request otherwise. If you are travelling alone with children whose last name doesn’t match your own, you might have to provide a notarized letter saying that the child is indeed yours.

    Having a different last name than your child can make it difficult not just while travelling, but when it comes to doctor’s appointments and schooling.

    There’s Good News

    Feeling overwhelmed yet? The good news is you’ve come to the right place. At HitchSwitch, our goal is to simplify this process for you, so you can focus on more important things like bonding with your (not so warm and fuzzy) mother-in-law.

    With our help, you won’t need to worry about where to start. We take care of gathering which forms you’ll need, showing you how to fill them out, and submitting applications. You can thank us later.

  • I Love It When You Talk Budget To Me, Baby

    I Love It When You Talk Budget To Me, Baby

    Remember that wedding vow. The one that went, I, take you, for richer or poorer. If you’re a bit hazy on how to get started on this one, we’ve got you covered.

    Consider the start of financial planning to be much like the early stages of planning a wedding. Use your resources and start discussing your obligations early on. Work with people who share your vision so the two of you feel secure and cared for. After all, it’s your money!  

    We’ve created a list of financial tips for newlyweds so you won’t be forced to revisit those vows, and test their true meaning.

    Don’t Commit Financial Infidelity

    While discussing money is not always the easiest conversation, the number one rule is to always be honest. This means not hiding any assets, discussing your financial goals, and working together as a unit. Be open about your situation so you can create the right plan for you as a couple.

    Crunch The Numbers

    When you set a time to sit down and discuss finances, you should both tally up all of your assets. This means savings, checking, retirement accounts, real estate, collectables and yes, debt.

    You should also review credit reports, and income if that hasn’t been previously been talked about. If there is something you haven’t told your partner yet, this is the time to get everything out in the open.

    #Goals

    Dreams can’t become reality without a a set of goals to get your plan in motion. There are three types of financial goals every couple should discuss and work into their budget:

    1. Emergency Funds: three-to-six months of essentials bills saved up for the unpredictable moments marriage can throw at you
    2. One-to-Five Years: savings for the dream trip to France you both have been wanting to take, or a down payment on a new car.
    3. Long Term: funds that can be built up over time and make a big difference in the future (children’s education, retirement funds).

    Create Your Budget

    To make your budget, add both of your essential costs (housing, groceries) with discretionary costs (Cosmo subscription, SoulCycle classes). It’s usually recommended to live on 80% of your income with the other 20% devoted to savings.

    If either of you has a fair amount of debt, live on 70% of your income and use a few tricks to cut spending down. Maybe limit takeout from your favorite sushi bar to once a month and trim rarely used expenses like cable or gym memberships.

    Think Big, Start Small

    Stash is not just an investment app. Just like a wedding planner wants your special day to reflect you, Stash lets you invest in what matters to you. You can invest in a selection of stocks that are carefully curated by their investment team based on expense ratio, trading liquidity, and risk profile. (Full disclosure- we looked up that lingo, too!)

    No need to dust off your old Econ textbook, Stash makes it easy to learn about investing. Visit Stash x HitchSwitch, and you’ll receive $5 in your new account to start investing. Time to make some money!

  • 7 Things You Should Know Before Planning a Wedding

    7 Things You Should Know Before Planning a Wedding

    Between the magic of the proposal and the moment you say “I do”, there is a lot of planning, preparation and of course, stress. It can be easy to feel overwhelmed and go a little overboard making sure every detail is perfect.

    There is nothing wrong with wanting your big day to be everything you dreamed of and more. But, before you start pulling your hair out going back and forth over centerpieces, pour yourself a glass of wine and read our list of the top things every bride should know before diving into the wedding planning process.

    Stop Comparing

    Tools like Pinterest are a great jumping off point for some cute ideas and to decide on the general direction you’d like to go with your wedding. But, when you start obsessing over venues out of your budget or spending hours looking at DIY projects when your artistic ability didn’t make it past second grade, it can get counterproductive.

    Don’t compare your wedding to those you see on social media. This day is about you and your partner, and your wedding should be a reflection of that.

    Everyone will give you advice (you don’t have to listen)

    If the idea of all eyes on you during a first dance is terrifying, you don’t have to do it. If you and your fiancé are uncomfortable with certain traditions/ want to start some new ones of your own, you are free to do whatever makes you happiest. It’s your day!

    Everyone that wants to will put their two cents in about your choices, but what’s right for your second cousin twice removed is not necessarily what’s right for you.

    Stay organized

    Over the next few months, you will have a lot to keep track of. It’s best to get a binder to dedicate all of your wedding plans to so they stay in one place. Making an email specific for the wedding is also a helpful tip, and planning out a tentative schedule helps you meet deadlines and determine your top priorities (cake tasting).

    Changing your name

    Now that you have the ring, it’s time to discuss how you want to go about changing your name. The sooner this becomes a priority, the less of a headache it will be later on. Whether it’s taking his last name, hyphenating, or one of the many other options you can choose from, HitchSwitch is the simplest solution for changing your name, without all of the hassle.

    Vendors know vendors

    Your photographer can recommend which flowers pop the most in pictures, and your venue will know what kind of music sounds the best in their space. Your vendors do this professionally every day, and when you find someone you like it can be super helpful to see if they have any recommendations for other businesses to work with.  

    Not everyone can have a plus-one

    Brides try diligently to make everyone happy. There are certain cases (if the couple is living together/engaged or if someone is travelling across the country for your wedding), where your guests should be treated to a plus-one.

    But, it’s usually not in anyone’s budget to include a plus-one for all your friends, and that’s something they will have to understand. If someone approaches you about why they were not given a plus-one, just politely explain that you are sorry, but it was not in the budget.

    Keep track of your budget

    If you are hiring a wedding planner, they will keep a budget for you, but it’s smart to do this yourself as well.

    Inevitably, you will fall in love with the lace and gold invitations that you didn’t initially budget for. If they suddenly become a make or break item for your wedding, it’s good to be aware of where you can cut back a little in order to make up for the extra spent.

  • Bridal Shower Gifts You’ve Never Thought Of

    Bridal Shower Gifts You’ve Never Thought Of

    Bridal showers are a great way to let the bride take a break from all the wedding preparation, make her feel special and enjoy some time with her close friends and family.

    For you, it also means another trip to Bloomingdale’s in pursuit of the perfect gift, or at least something someone else hasn’t already gotten her. Bridal shower gifts can get a little redundant and the last thing you want to do is get the bride something she doesn’t want/ already has.

    Lucky for you, we created a list of unique ideas for bridal shower gifts the bride is guaranteed to love.  

    1. Mixology Class:

    Give the gift of a great date night for the soon to be newlyweds! Planning a wedding is a stressful time, but these classes offer a fun and interactive evening full of mixing up delicious cocktails that also gives the couple a chance to work together as a team.

    2. Venus Et Fleur:

    Not your average floral arrangement, Venus Et Fleur are luxury boxed roses that can last for over a year. This special gift is most definitely insta-worthy, and their stunning appearance will leave a lasting impression that stays with the bride well past her wedding day.

    3. William Sonoma Newlywed Cookbook:

    If the couple only has one cookbook in their kitchen, this is the one they need to have. The book includes recipes for both seasoned chefs or those just starting out and is the perfect excuse for the bride to get her soon-to-be husband a little more involved in the kitchen. 

    4. A Hitchswitch Name Change gift card:

    Hitchswitch is the nation’s leading online and mobile name change service for newlyweds. HitchSwitch is here to make the name change process as easy as it was to say “I Do”. Now that’s a gift they will remember!

    5. Personalized Champagne Wedding Vase:

    You can never go wrong with bouquets and bubbly. This personalized gift is made from an upcycled champagne bottle with a label that can be customized to include the couple’s names, wedding date and location. The perfect keepsake to toast the occasion for years to come.  

    6. Subscription Service:

    What’s better than getting the bride one gift? Getting her a new gift delivered every month! A subscription service that comes full of her favorite essentials to help her with wedding planning, or just to put a smile on her face is the perfect gift to help the bride get through all of the craziness that lies ahead. Here are a few examples that are great for the bride-to-be:

    1. The Bride Box: a curated box full of surprise bridal gifts and goodies The Bride Box works closely with artists and designers to put together all the essentials the bride will need leading up to her big day.
    2. The Bouqs: for the bride that loves her flowers, Bouqs offers weekly, monthly, or quarterly subscriptions of fresh, polished flowers that will brighten her day.
    3. The Knot Subscription: The Knot is a personal wedding planner (that won’t mess up the seating chart) in a magazine and digital space. A subscription provides content, tools and services to assist with all her wedding planning needs.

  • Pay It Forward: The Wedding Gifts That Keep On Giving

    Pay It Forward: The Wedding Gifts That Keep On Giving

    Enter: the experience generation. We live for everything and want for nothing. Well, almost nothing: other than three weeks on an African Safari in a “rugged” 5-star hotel; the opportunity to jump out of a plane after only a weeks worth of skydiving lessons; or dinner reservations for two at the highly coveted Rao’s.

    That’s right, these are a few, amongst many outside the box wedding gifts that couples, as of recent, are requesting. And like dutiful little bridesmaids and guests, we are gifting.

    At the very least, these soon-to-be newly-weds know what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it. This way no one is left purchasing bedding or towels that will never be used, and we can spend our brain power trying to decipher the wedding invites dress code that reads: country chic, WTF? If weddings today are as unique as ever, it would only make sense that gift registries would follow suit.

    There are some etiquette rules that have stood the test of time, and bypassing the registry is still a major party foul. The sky’s the limit nowadays, so you might as well register for the things you want. Even if those things aren’t necessarily things, and even if your great Aunt Mildred is scratching her head wishing you selected HER China pattern for your own.

    And now, without further  “I do”, some wild and crazy suggestions:


    You Better Work…Covergirl

    Perhaps an easy to use, easy to travel with a camera would be registry worthy. I know we think our iPhones can do everything these days, and they pretty much can but the video and picture quality can’t top the one below. The best DSLR quality for the Instagram-obsessed.

    I’m not only the president but also a member

    A membership or subscription to whatever meets your fancy: Perhaps, to a wine of the month club or cheese of the month club. Because isn’t everybody a bit of a foodie and wine connoisseur these days? (check out, Murray’s cheese of the month club)

    Concert Tickets

    Tickets to a Music Festival, like Austin City Limits, Coachella, or the NewLo jazz festival. The Woodstock generation might start to understand what you’re talking about now!!!  But, seriously, why not sit in the front row with your BAE to hear your favorite performers crooning to you and yours. Who cares that you won’t be able to hear for days, you’ll get used to the selective hearing thing the longer your married… oops, did I just say that out loud.

    Your Pup

    If you love your dog almost as much as your fiancé: register for a doggy walker, doggy day care or doggy spa packages. You might as well get something you’ll use, because who is going to care of your finicky frenchie, Napoleon unless you are staying at a pet friendly hotel in the Maldives


    It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere

    How about adding to the outdoor newlywed tailgating experience by registering and upgrading your cooler? That is equally practical as well as cool… In white, of course…

    Maybe, your special day has passed. Maybe you went “traditional,” like fine China, silver, or bedding. That worked for you, but remember, the hosts of the wedding set the tone, and your job is to zip your lip, throw away the key, and graciously follow the engaged couples lead when it comes to gifting.

    Nowadays, there really isn’t a “one size fits most” rule and you can trust that your anything but ordinary gift will make the newly-weds very happy.

     

  • How To: Rock your In-Laws’ First Visit

    How To: Rock your In-Laws’ First Visit

    Let’s face it: no matter the circumstance, family dynamics can be awkward. You’ve lived this long trying to figure out your own friggin’ family and now that you’re married, you’ve got an entire new round-up of relatives to decode! (Good luck.) Lucky for you, we have some tips to make this process a little bit smoother.

    Be a Little Extra

    Showing that you care by exerting real effort to make your new family comfortable is as endearing as it gets. Go the extra mile by stocking their room with fresh towels, a small flower arrangement and some reading material. Are homemade cookies too much? We think not.

    Know When To Serve (Or Curb)

    A little libation will loosen anyone up, and there’s nothing wrong with poppin’ a little bubbly when the family gets together. Plus, what a perfect excuse to show off your champagne flutes from Aunt Joanne and your baller ice bucket from Cousin Richard.

    If your in-laws practically invented the Tom Collins, then maybe just pretend to have run out of the sauce after the first bottle is finished.

    Plan a (Flexible) Activity

    Plan an activity for the family to enjoy together. If they’re particularly active, try a family bike ride, a round of golf, or take a walking tour around your town. If they’re homebodies, try a family game night featuring Pictionary or Scrabble. Keep it flexible (date, time and actual level of activity) to avoid a potentially stressful schedule.

    Find Common Ground

    Start small by talking about a dish you love to cook (or eat), an activity most everyone enjoys (like taking a walk or traveling to the beach), or a fond family memory. If they’re being especially difficult and giving you short answers, you can combat the coldness by following up with, “And why is that?” or “What about you?” Even the little brother co-ed who appears to be majoring in eye rolls and Tolstoy will open up once you’ve created a foundation with him.

    Good-Hearted Ribbing

    Families love to tease each other. Shared laughter creates a bond, so it’s smart to join in on the fun. As long as it stays light-hearted, making fun of your sister-in-law’s high school Emo phase or father-in-law’s 60s fumanchu is a great way to engage the natives.

    Turn to TV

    It may be rude to watch television when you have guests, but it’s not rude to talk about how awesome television is with guests. Everyone can bond over a mutual love of Game of Thrones (what is happening with that ice dragon!?) or Mad Men and you can learn more about their interests and the entertainment they value.

    Get a Buffer

    Everyone has that one black sheep in the family. And that person is usually awesome. If all else fails, invite that person and let them save you. They’re likely much better at navigating the rough waters and can bring you up to speed on who to sit next to and who to avoid at the family gatherings.