Tag: just married

  • The Importance of Sharing a Surname with Your Kids: What to Consider

    The Importance of Sharing a Surname with Your Kids: What to Consider

    The Importance of Sharing a Surname with Your Kids: What to Consider

    In today’s evolving landscape, many people are thoughtfully deciding to keep their maiden name after marriage. The reasons are diverse and deeply personal, often stemming from a desire to maintain independence, preserve a professional identity, or simply avoid the societal pressure to change. Some feel a strong connection to their birth name, seeing it as a vital part of their identity that they wish to preserve.

    But as families grow and children enter the picture, a new question often arises: Will your children carry your last name, your partner’s, or a combination of both? While the decision about surnames is entirely personal, it’s widely recognized that having a different last name from your children can present unique considerations and, at times, unexpected challenges.

    It’s widely known that having a different surname from your children will produce a few problems. The most prominent one (which is actually not that big of a problem) would always be correcting people’s assumptions about you. Most people will assume you’re divorced, considering that your child has a different name than yours.

    Everyday Perceptions and Identity

    Perhaps the most common experience is the frequent need to clarify assumptions. When your child has a different surname, people may often presume you are divorced or not the biological parent. While this isn’t a “major problem” in the grand scheme, consistently correcting these assumptions can become tiring over time. As children grow older, they become more observant. They might notice that their surname doesn’t match yours, leading to questions about family identity. While many parents are comfortable addressing these inquiries, it’s a conversation worth being prepared for.

    Considerations for Travel and Official Situations

    Beyond daily interactions, more significant issues can arise, particularly when traveling internationally or dealing with official documentation. Consider the experience of Hannah Marshall, who was stopped by border control because her daughter did not share her last name. She was suspected of attempting to abduct the child. This highlights a serious concern: authorities are highly vigilant about child trafficking and abduction.

    Due to these safeguards, if you’re traveling with children who have a different surname from yours, you may be asked to provide additional legal documents. This could include:

    • The child’s birth certificate (listing both parents).
    • A consent letter from the other parent (if they are not traveling with you).
    • Your marriage certificate or divorce decree, depending on the situation.

    UK Home Office clarified this procedure is in place to safeguard children, but it can lead to significant delays and stress if you’re unprepared.

    Administrative Hurdles: School, Medical, and Legal Forms

    The surname difference can also introduce minor administrative complexities in various aspects of your daily life:

    • School Applications and Emergency Contacts: When enrolling children in school or filling out emergency contact forms, a name discrepancy might prompt extra questions or require additional proof of your parental relationship. In an emergency, schools are more likely to verify identity with a matching surname, potentially causing slight delays.
    • Doctor’s Visits and Medical Consent: At a doctor’s office, you might face additional scrutiny when providing medical consent or accessing records if your last name doesn’t match your child’s. Having readily available identification that links you to your child (like a birth certificate) is crucial.
    • Parental Consent for Minors: For situations requiring parental permission, such as a teenager applying for a learner’s permit at the DMV or seeking job employment, you may need to provide robust documentation to prove your legal relationship. While these issues are generally resolvable, they can become roadblocks without proper preparation.

    These scenarios, while often manageable, underscore the importance of understanding potential complications and ensuring you have all necessary supporting documentation readily available.

    Making Your Informed Decision

    Ultimately, the choice of surname for both parents and children is a deeply personal one. There’s no universal “right” answer, and families are increasingly embracing diverse naming conventions. However, being aware of the potential practical implications—from clarifying assumptions to navigating border control—can help you make an informed decision that works best for your family.

    Whatever path you choose, remember that HitchSwitch is here to simplify your name change needs. Whether you’re considering adopting your partner’s surname, creating a new hyphenated name, or ensuring consistency with your children’s last name, our service provides the customized forms and step-by-step instructions to make the process as seamless as possible.

    Ready to simplify your name change journey? Let HitchSwitch take the stress out of updating your identity, ensuring all your documents reflect your chosen surname with ease.

  • WOMEN OF THE WEDDING INDUSTRY, ON CHANGING THEIR NAME & STARTING A PODCAST!

    WOMEN OF THE WEDDING INDUSTRY, ON CHANGING THEIR NAME & STARTING A PODCAST!

    In 2016, Lisa & Rebecca started a podcast called The Secret Life of Weddings.

    On a mission to tell the world’s craziest wedding stories, the podcast is, in their own words, “full of alcohol and bad ideas.” The two real-life wedding photographers have spent 20+ years working in the industry and love dishing out on some unbelievable yet hysterical wedding drama. If you’re engaged, Lisa & Rebecca promise to take you from hot mess wedding planning mode to pee your pants laughing!

    Here at HitchSwitch, we’re not just their #1 fans but are proud to be the official sponsor of The Secret Life of Weddings.

    Read below to get in on our conversation with co-hosts, Lisa & Rebecca!

    Q&A

    What inspired you to start SLOW?

    We have been wedding photographers for so many years and have seen everything that can go right and hilariously wrong! One time we worked together on a particular wedding where someone was acting quite challenging, and over drinks, we thought up the idea of starting a podcast! We figured that this podcast would be a great place for fellow wedding vendors, brides, guests, etc. could anonymously email us their craziest true wedding stories, and we would share with the world! That’s when The Secret Life of Weddings was born.

    What has been the most challenging aspect of starting a podcast?

    Probably always recording and releasing the episodes on-time no matter what.  We understood that in order to be successful, we had to treat running a podcast like a business because essentially, that’s what it is. I don’t think we’ve ever missed a drop date, even if we were sick or on holiday. You learn to handle it! And to do it for over a year and a half is a challenge, but our amazing loyal listeners & sponsors make it worthwhile for us.

    What do you love about working in the Wedding Industry?

    That people genuinely care about the couple getting married and the wedding planning process. It’s really cool to see families come together and become one!

    What is The funniest listener submission.. if you can pick one?

    Oh, that’s like asking to pick a favorite kid, but if we had to pick one, it would probably be the one where a bride fell off a golf cart and got run over. It sounds horrible, I know, but I promise it was hilarious! The fact that you really shouldn’t be laughing …  just makes you laugh even harder! She was 100% okay so we hope the universe will forgive us for laughing.

    Did either of you change your name and what did that mean for you?

    Yes, we both did! I (Lisa) actually added my husband’s last name onto my existing maiden name. It’s important to note I chose not to hyphenate because I didn’t want to create a new name, but only take on his name and maintain my existing last name too. I kept my maiden name for professional reasons and use my full married name for family purposes, as my kids have my married name. It meant a lot to me to take my husband’s name (I like the tradition of it), but my maiden name also still meant a lot to me. This was the perfect compromise and just felt right.

    What is your favorite current wedding trend?

    Late night food, definitely! Weddings are definitely the best excuse to let loose and eat every amazing food in sight! You can dance it off later 😉

    What advice do you have for a brides-to-be in dealing with the stress of wedding planning/ frustrating guests & family?

    Try to keep perspective and accept the fact that something, no matter how small, will go wrong on your wedding day. It’s best to accept this fact and decide it won’t ruin your wedding day. As for unwanted advice from well-meaning friends & family, merely thank them for their thoughts and change the subject. Wedding planning is prime time for people coming out of the woodwork with unwanted suggestions. Let them feel like they helped, and then do what you want anyway. It’s your wedding, not theirs.

    You’re both married. Can you share any advice for newly married HitchSwitch clients?

    Don’t expect marriage to be easy. You will have disagreements, and it’s all about how you handle them. Pick your battles … not everything is worth fighting over. If you fight or argue – don’t worry about it. It means you care about your relationship. Remember always to be each other’s best friend!

  • Wedding Budget Saving Tips

    Wedding Budget Saving Tips

    Wedding Budget Saving Tips

    If you could describe a wedding in three words, what would they be? 

    If you’ve never had a wedding of your own, then let me take the words right out of your mouth. Beautiful. Elegant. Fun.

    Yeah, yeah, I get it, being a guest is the frickin’ best because unless you’re the bride or groom, you didn’t pay for anything. You went all dolled up, ate a filet mignon steak with a side of couscous, got drunk, and went home. That’s what guests do, and I know this because I attend over three weddings a month. 

    My three words? Too. Damn. Expensive.

    via GIPHY

    According to Business Insider, “The average wedding cost in the US is $33,391”. I’ve been married since 2017, and I am still in debt for the extravagant wedding my in-laws persisted we have. They only have one son so you can imagine how that conversation went.  

    Anyways, there are several things you can do that will help you save hundreds of dollars on your special day.

    Here are our top four.

    1. Scratch Off Anyone You Haven’t Seen In 2+ Years

    Let’s be real. Does your great uncle Paul from your mom’s side that you haven’t seen in over five years really need to be invited? I know when it comes to creating a guest list for your special day, you want the whole world to know, but think of it this way: the more people come, the more money out of your pocket.

    Honestly, I get it. At some point, you feel an obligation to invite some people even though you barely know them. While my husband and I were creating the guest list at the time, we were incredibly stressed out because more than half the people on the list were closer to our parents, not to us. It rounded up to over 200 people. 

    via GIPHY

    A word of advice? Cut out anybody you haven’t spoken or heard from in the past two years. Explain to your parents and future in-laws that you would rather save that extra cash for something that will benefit you and your partner in the near future.

    2. You Don’t Need Filet Mignon With Couscous

    You can’t have starving guests. Even though prices vary per guest in every state, you’re looking at an average of $85 per plate. And that’s the not so fancy weddings. If you want a New York wedding, you’re looking at an $80,000 fee.

    Here I thought California was too expensive.

    So what do you do? If you’re looking to save money, then I’ll tell you what you don’t do, and that is hiring a caterer. As soon as you mention the M word (married), anything that will cost ten bucks will jump to a hundred. We know it’s the same product, but we’re under so much stress at the time that we couldn’t give a shit, am I right?

    via GIPHY

    If you have any close friends that run family-owned restaurants or if your family is in the food industry, you can always ask them to cater! It doesn’t need to be anything fancy because I promise you, people just want to eat. I had a friend who served chicken thighs on top of basmati rice at her wedding, and you better believe it was the best darn thing I’ve ever tasted.

    So no need to over think the food because you’re not going to look back on this day and think, “I should have gone with the $8000 caterers”.

    3. Mother Nature is Your New Wedding Venue

    Haven’t you heard? That’s, like, totally a thing now.

    Renting out a plaza for your wedding reception is crazy expensive. I know this because mine cost me a thousand for the night.

    Lately, I have been noticing a ton of people planning their wedding in their backyard. There are a few who also use public parks because it’s already fixed up beautifully without costing a dime.

    Bridal Musings does a wonderful job on how to set up a backyard wedding.

    4. Skip The Bouquet and Settle For A Single Rose

    For a few of my brides, this might strike a nerve. If you’re one of those brides who want to preserve your bouquet in a glass frame, then by all means, skip this step. Before I continue, I would just like to state that I have been to weddings without a single flower in sight and I have been to weddings where over $2000 was spent only on flowers.

    via GIPHY

    Other than your bouquet, you need to keep in mind the bridesmaids, the flower girls, the corsages, table centerpieces, and much more that I can’t remember at the moment.

    Also, flowers die. Imagine spending $2000 on flowers just for them to die that same night. Holy crap, you can buy a used car with that amount of money. Now, there are alternatives to flowers such as candles, crystal vases, goldfish bowls with petals, and even fake flowers. If flowers are a must, then keep them to a minimal.

    If you’re the DIY’er in the family, then all you need is to pick a few roses from your nearest public park and get to working.

    The list goes on and on…and on. Shop for your dress or tux off the clearance rack, ask family and friends to help with the setup instead of buying professional work, buy affordable wedding rings, stay in state for the honeymoon, set up karaoke instead of hiring a DJ. 

    Ok, maybe that last one isn’t necessary, but you get my point. 

  • Homemade Valentine’s Day Gifts

    Homemade Valentine’s Day Gifts

    Homemade Valentine’s Day Gifts

    In our last article, we talked about throwing an incredible Valentine’s Day party, and I’m sure if you read that article, then your Valentine’s day party was the talk of the town. Now, while your local Target is probably overfilled with human-sized teddy bears at the moment, there’s always something about homemade gifts that hold more sentimental meaning to what love truly is. To save you time and trouble, we have picked a few simple ideas that will have your partner smiling from ear to ear.

    via GIPHY

    Valentine’s Day Mason Jar

    “I am obsessed with Mason jars!” says the stay at home mom who spends hours scrolling through Pinterest every day. Let me tell you why Mason jars are the absolute best.

    •     You can use them to plant herbs
    •     Great for smoothies and juices
    •     Toothbrush/pencil/twine/buttons holder
    •     Prep salad in them and take them to go
    •     Overnight oats or puddings

    The list is endless! For Valentine’s Day, here’s how you can benefit from a mason jar: 

    • Fill it to the brink with candy hearts, and you can use either a boutique of fake or real flowers. Your call.
    • Handpick your loved one’s favorite chocolates and cut out paper hearts with sweet messages on them. You can choose to paint the jar pink or wrap it with a red glitter ribbon.
    • Valentine’s Day goodies! This includes heart-shaped cookies, pink/red macaroons, sugar cookie hearts, Hershey’s Kisses, conversation heart cookies.
    • Fill the jar of notes on why you love this person. Design the outside of the box with glitter, hearts, and both your initials. Anytime your loved one feels down; they can open a note and remember how much they’re loved.

     

    via GIPHY

    Heart-Shaped Bath Bombs

    Even though bath bombs have been a thing since the 1990s, they only gained popularity in early 2018. After they blew up, I felt like they dominated the cosmetics industry. People were making bath bombs left and right. There was so many shapes, colors, and scents to pick from that you would have thought at this point, I would have tried one.

    Creating your own bath bombs at home is an incredibly simple task. You can find the steps here and get creative! You can make them heart-shaped, cupcake shaped, and even in the shape of lips. You can literally find the mold for anything on Amazon. You can present them in a mason jar (obvi) or any acceptable container you have on hand!

    If you’re planning on creating this gift for your partner, always remember bathtubs are fit for two (wink, wink).

    via GIPHY

    Scavenger Hunt

    I know what you’re thinking. Who has the frikin’ time to create a scavenger hunt?

    The answer is me, always me. I’m adding this to the list because it was my gift to my husband last year and he thoroughly loved it! If your loved one is a fan of riddles and finding things, this one’s for you, too! Every puzzle and hint was kept within the house, so it didn’t take long. I kept them short, simple, and sexy.

    The last clue-which was really more of an answer-led him to a hotel where I had rented a room for the night. Rose petals everywhere, lavender scented candles, a steak dinner, a bottle of bubbly, a sexy film (Secretary), and err, that’s it.

    Now I’m just waiting for someone to hand me the “Best Wife” award. Should be any minute now.

    via GIPHY

    Homemade Cake with Message

    Do you love to bake? Does your house always smell like the holidays because of the cinnamon buns you’ve been baking? Do your neighbors continuously ask you for your recipes because your pecan chocolate chip cookies are the best damn thing they’ve ever tasted?

    Then I want YOU to bake a cake with a loving message this Valentine’s Day. You know the phrase “The quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? Yeah, well, I’m here to tell you that the quickest way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach because food is fantastic and clearly essential to our survival. I just never understood how they made something as simple as food about men.

    Moving on. If you’ve got a message for your loved one, then grab that frosting and get to writing. Then enjoy with a glass of red wine while cuddled under a blanket watching Pretty Woman.

    via GIPHY

    You + Me on a Tree

    Click here for a visual. When I first stumbled upon Jamie’s DIY, I immediately thought “What the-,” because never in a million years would I have thought to use leftover firewood to make a memorable gift.

    Did I believe it would be difficult? Most definitely. Was it? Nope. But it does require you to be patient and careful since you will be using a utility knife and woodburning tool.

    The result is rustic, romantic, memorable, and a great addition to any room.

    See? There are just a few ideas to get those wheels in your head turning. All simple, all significant, all made with love and appreciation. Regardless of what you choose to make, always remember that at the end of the day, the perfect gift is you being there for your loved ones.

  • No Babysitter, No Babies Yet, Bucket List

    No Babysitter, No Babies Yet, Bucket List

    We get it, you are busy, you are married now, settling in, learning how to compromise, (he wants Will Ferrell movies, you want “Will You Grow up” movies, that are actually called documentaries). You are splitting responsibilities, (you cook and not only do you have “your lists,” you have “our lists…” You have so many lists, even your lists have a list, but making a bucket list as a couple, sans children, is a list worth listing, even if having kids is number one on your “our list”.

    Adding children to your list of “to dos” and actually adding children to your lives is a game changer, because, once they arrive your bucket list turns into something that rhymes with bucket, that starts with an “f” real quick…. Trust me!

    You have little adorably delicious people who are dependent on you, who look up to you for guidance and modelled behavior. They demand your time, your energy, your sleep, your love, your focus, and your attention. And, these little deliciously needy people, decide, at some point, maybe, listed on one of their little to do lists, unbeknownst to you, out of the blue, to stop napping, and that was your only chance of your time. Good luck crossing off your dreams and aspirations, while they are awake.

    You will soon be making decisions that cater to their needs, growth, enjoyment, and development and you would do anything for them, because you love them, more than life itself, and perhaps a little less than the best night’s sleep ever.

    Enjoy your time together, as a married couple, without the responsibility of children, just as you should enjoy every stage of life, because it’s amazing how quickly life happens, changes, and believe me, I know at times it seems that your only purpose in this life is to pay bills and clean up after your spouse, and when you’re not doing the previously mentioned, go out and live a little, love a lot, do what you love, while you can!

    This list isn’t by any means trying to sway you from settling down and starting a family , but rather a motivational list urging you to: Seek out adventure, conquer some conquests and enjoy your time together, before the time becomes 8:30 pm, and that’s way too late to start a movie at that hour…

    Make out, and make love, in places you aren’t supposed to.

    Learn a new skill, together, like surfing, or ballroom dancing.

    Learn a new language together and then travel to that place where that language is spoken

    Go to Vegas for a wild weekend, and bet it all on black 17, it’s not your kids’ tuition after all.

    Go skinny dipping at night

    Appreciate the small things

    (which is a big one) sleeping in, waking up spooning, no one else in your bed sleeping between you, shower together, work out together, take walks together, watch a sunrise together, stay up late together.

    Go on or to a couple only, no kids resort or cruise.

    Take a BIG trip (Europe, Asia, safari in Africa)

    Volunteer together on Christmas Day at your local food pantry or soup kitchen.

     

    Blast music

    regardless of the explicit lyrics, and or put on Howard Stern during your commute in your convertible with two doors, no room for car seats…

  • I Love It When You Talk Budget To Me, Baby

    I Love It When You Talk Budget To Me, Baby

    Remember that wedding vow. The one that went, I, take you, for richer or poorer. If you’re a bit hazy on how to get started on this one, we’ve got you covered.

    Consider the start of financial planning to be much like the early stages of planning a wedding. Use your resources and start discussing your obligations early on. Work with people who share your vision so the two of you feel secure and cared for. After all, it’s your money!  

    We’ve created a list of financial tips for newlyweds so you won’t be forced to revisit those vows, and test their true meaning.

    Don’t Commit Financial Infidelity

    While discussing money is not always the easiest conversation, the number one rule is to always be honest. This means not hiding any assets, discussing your financial goals, and working together as a unit. Be open about your situation so you can create the right plan for you as a couple.

    Crunch The Numbers

    When you set a time to sit down and discuss finances, you should both tally up all of your assets. This means savings, checking, retirement accounts, real estate, collectables and yes, debt.

    You should also review credit reports, and income if that hasn’t been previously been talked about. If there is something you haven’t told your partner yet, this is the time to get everything out in the open.

    #Goals

    Dreams can’t become reality without a a set of goals to get your plan in motion. There are three types of financial goals every couple should discuss and work into their budget:

    1. Emergency Funds: three-to-six months of essentials bills saved up for the unpredictable moments marriage can throw at you
    2. One-to-Five Years: savings for the dream trip to France you both have been wanting to take, or a down payment on a new car.
    3. Long Term: funds that can be built up over time and make a big difference in the future (children’s education, retirement funds).

    Create Your Budget

    To make your budget, add both of your essential costs (housing, groceries) with discretionary costs (Cosmo subscription, SoulCycle classes). It’s usually recommended to live on 80% of your income with the other 20% devoted to savings.

    If either of you has a fair amount of debt, live on 70% of your income and use a few tricks to cut spending down. Maybe limit takeout from your favorite sushi bar to once a month and trim rarely used expenses like cable or gym memberships.

    Think Big, Start Small

    Stash is not just an investment app. Just like a wedding planner wants your special day to reflect you, Stash lets you invest in what matters to you. You can invest in a selection of stocks that are carefully curated by their investment team based on expense ratio, trading liquidity, and risk profile. (Full disclosure- we looked up that lingo, too!)

    No need to dust off your old Econ textbook, Stash makes it easy to learn about investing. Visit Stash x HitchSwitch, and you’ll receive $5 in your new account to start investing. Time to make some money!